E.U. Weighs Requiring Firms to Disclose Data Breaches

BERLIN — To combat a rise in cybercrime, the European Commission is considering a plan to require companies that store data on the Internet — like Microsoft, Apple, Google and I.B.M. — to report the loss or theft of personal information in the 27-nation bloc or risk sanctions and fines.

The proposal, which is being drafted by Neelie Kroes, the European Union’s commissioner for the digital agenda, aims to impose, for the first time, E.U.-wide reporting requirements on companies that run large databases, those used for Internet searches, social networks, e-commerce or cloud services. The proposed directive would supplant a patchwork of national laws in Europe that have made reporting mandatory in Germany and Spain, but voluntary in Britain and Italy.

While European lawmakers are trying to limit cybercrime, the plan by Mrs. Kroes has generated controversy because it would extend the obligation to report data breaches beyond traditional compilers of customer databases — telephone, transport and utility companies.

The technology industry supports the idea of a more systematic approach to the flagging of security breaches, but says the proposal needs more specific guidelines to ensure that notifications are required only when necessary and useful to consumers.

“Harmonization of the notification requirements for security breaches is important and should be addressed,” said Thomas Boué, the government affairs director in Brussels for the Business Software Alliance, whose members include Microsoft, I.B.M., Apple, Oracle and Intel. “More precise guidelines in the directive on the trigger and threshold procedures would make the system more workable.”

Cybercrime has risen sharply in Europe. A series of high-profile hacking attacks on governments and businesses has galvanized European lawmakers to focus on the need to strengthen and harmonize existing laws, which vary widely across the Union and differ on the levels of disclosure required.

In Britain alone, businesses and governments reported 821 cyberattacks in 2011, 15 percent of which resulted in the theft of data on individuals, according to the country’s Information Commissioner’s Office. The attacks represented a more than tenfold increase over the 79 incidents reported in 2007. In one of the breaches, health officials in Scotland reported, the medical records of 104 children had been compromised.

Big companies in Britain are attacked about once a week on average by cybercriminals seeking data, and small businesses are targeted once a month, according to a survey last year of 400 businesses by the accounting firm PricewaterhouseCoopers. The cost to the biggest companies of taking the steps necessary to repel an attack and deal with the damage caused by one can reach about £250,000, or $400,000.

Karin Retzer, a lawyer in Brussels who advises businesses on compliance with European data protection laws, said it was hard to say whether European lawmakers would ultimately adopt the rules, the first effort of the kind worldwide.

“We are in a fairly early stage,” said Ms. Retzer, of the firm Morrison & Foerster. “There is a lot of opposition.”

Under E.U. law adopted in 2009, the operators of critical “communications infrastructure” are supposed to follow guidelines on reporting data breaches, but Ms. Retzer said enforcement was spotty at best. Many E.U. countries have applied the mandate only to phone companies, while others have rules on paper for Web businesses but have never enforced them.

Mrs. Kroes, a Dutch economist, made data security a priority when she took over the position of digital agenda commissioner in 2010. Early last year, she drafted the outlines of an E.U.-wide strategy for cybersecurity with Cecilia Malmstrom, the home affairs commissioner, and Catherine Ashton, the E.U.’s representative for foreign policy

The proposal was supposed to be released last September, but now is expected to be reviewed by the European Commission on Jan. 30. According to a copy of the plan seen by the International Herald Tribune, the new reporting requirements would be applied to, among others, the “enablers of Internet services, e-commerce platforms, Internet payment gateways, social networks, search engines, cloud computing services, application stores.”

The proposal directs E.U. countries to impose penalties on organizations that do not heed the notification rules, and requires them to craft national disclosure laws that are “appropriate, effective, proportionate and dissuasive.”

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Deepening Crisis for the Dreamliner

Noboru Tomura/Asahi Shimbun, via Associated Press

An All Nippon Airways flight in Takamatsu, Japan, after an emergency landing on Wednesday.

TOKYO — The two largest Japanese airlines said Wednesday that they would ground their fleets of Boeing 787 aircraft after one operated by All Nippon Airways made an emergency landing in western Japan.

The latest episode elevates the safety concerns about Boeing’s new flagship airliner.

The emergency landing followed a string of problems in the past month with the Boeing 787, known as the Dreamliner, including a battery fire, fuel leaks and a cracked cockpit window. All Nippon said the problems Wednesday involved the same lithium-ion batteries that caught fire last week in Boston on a Dreamliner operated by Japan Airlines.

Last week, the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration ordered a comprehensive review of the Dreamliner’s manufacturing and design, with a focus on the plane’s electrical systems. During a news conference last Thursday, the U.S. transportation secretary, Ray LaHood, made no mention of grounding Dreamliners. But if the problems continue, tougher measures could presumably be taken.

Boeing executives declined to comment Wednesday on the Japanese groundings. The company’s shares were down 3.7 percent in afternoon trading Wednesday in New York.

Eight airlines now fly the Dreamliner. All Nippon Airways and Japan Airlines in Japan own 24 of the 50 delivered by Boeing since November 2011. The other operators are Air India, Ethiopian Airlines, LAN Airlines of Chile, LOT of Poland, Qatar Airways and United Airlines of the United States. Orders for about 800 additional 787s are in the pipeline.

In the episode in Japan early Wednesday, the 137 passengers and crew members aboard Flight NH692 from Yamaguchi Ube Airport, in western Japan, to Tokyo used emergency slides to leave the aircraft early after battery trouble and an “unusual smell” in the cockpit prompted its pilots to land instead at Takamatsu airport, according to All Nippon. The jet’s main battery in the front of the plane was later found to have become discolored and to be seeping electrolyte fluid, All Nippon said.

Ryosei Nomura, a spokesman for All Nippon, said Wednesday that the airline was temporarily grounding all 17 of its Dreamliners for inspections, leading to the cancellation of 38 domestic and international flights. Japan Airlines also said it would ground the five Dreamliners it was operating; two other aircraft were already undergoing safety checks.

Akihiro Ota, the Japanese transportation minister, said that the emergency landing had raised concerns about the Dreamliner’s safety and that he would dispatch officials to investigate. “I see this as a serious incident which could have led to a serious accident,” Mr. Ota said in Tokyo.

All Nippon and Japan Airlines said the planes would return to the air after safety checks, although it was unclear how soon that might be. All Nippon said it would keep its Dreamliner fleet grounded Thursday, canceling 35 domestic flights and using other types of aircraft for its international routes.

The review by the U.S. aviation administration is unusual, just 15 months after the plane entered service following a lengthy certification process by the agency. That review is in addition to a formal investigation by the U.S. National Transportation Safety Board of what caused a battery fire on a Japan Airlines plane that flew to Boston from Tokyo last week.

The safety board said Wednesday it was “currently in the process of gathering information about the B-787 emergency landing in Japan earlier today.”

Boeing has sought to ease concerns about the plane’s design and reliability, and has said it is no more trouble-prone than other new commercial airplane programs.

Updesh Kapur, a spokesman for Qatar Airways, affirmed on Wednesday the airline’s view that the Dreamliner was safe but declined to comment on the decisions by the Japanese carriers. Qatar Airways operates three Dreamliners and has orders and purchase options for 57 more.

Last week, Akbar Al Baker, the Qatar Airways chief executive, played down the recent string of Dreamliner incidents as “teething issues with various components” and expressed confidence that Boeing would resolve any problems. He added that his airline was taking “every precaution” to ensure its fleet was safe to fly.

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Euro Watch: German Economy Shrank in Fourth Quarter

FRANKFURT — The economic stagnation in Europe has taken a significant toll on Germany, with government figures released Tuesday showing that the Continent’s flagship economy contracted in the fourth quarter of last year.

Ina Fassbender/Reuters

A ThyssenKrupp steel plant in Bruckhausen, Germany. Economists expect the German economy to resume growth quickly this year.

The Federal Statistical Office in Wiesbaden estimated that the German economy shrank about 0.5 percent in the final three months of 2012, compared with the previous three months. The decline was largely the result of sagging investment by German managers worried about the future of the euro zone.

And despite reassurances from economists that growth would bounce back quickly in Germany, the data underlined how closely the country’s fate remained tied to its ailing euro zone allies.

“This idea that Germany is a powerhouse dragging the rest of Europe along with it is a bit of a myth, to be honest,” said Philip Whyte, a senior research fellow at the Center for European Reform in London. “You have a very weak periphery, and a core which is not as strong as everyone seems to believe.”

Throughout the European debt crisis Germany has managed to float above the bad news, enjoying record employment, rock-bottom borrowing costs and export-led growth that kept chugging in spite of the cloud hanging over the euro zone. But Germany’s European partners are also among its biggest customers, leaving it vulnerable to the Continent-wide slowdown made worse by the very austerity policies championed by Chancellor Angela Merkel.

Portugal’s central bank on Tuesday cut its economic forecast for this year, saying the economy would contract more steeply than expected. France has probably missed its target for reducing the budget deficit, according to data published Tuesday, raising the prospects of deeper spending cuts and additional taxes. Meanwhile, elections pending in Italy next month have ground that country’s drive toward economic overhauls to a halt.

“The longer the euro crisis lasts, the more difficult the situation becomes for Germany,” said Stefan Kooths, an economist at the Kiel Institute for the World Economy. “We have always said Germany is not a Teflon economy.”

The German government is scheduled to release its report on the economy Wednesday and will forecast growth of 0.5 percent this year, the Handelsblatt newspaper reported, saying it had obtained a copy of the document. In the context of the euro zone as a whole, which is in recession with record unemployment, any growth is considered positive.

But most forecasts are based on the assumption that financial markets will remain calm. If anything were to shake investor confidence in the euro zone, like political turmoil in Italy or Greece, the weak growth rate would mean that Germany would not have much of a cushion against recession.

France is en route to missing its deficit reduction target this year, according to preliminary data released Tuesday by the French government. Although the government aimed for a deficit of 4.5 percent of gross domestic product, data for November suggest the shortfall will be 4.8 percent, ING Bank estimated.

That means the French president, François Hollande, would have to find an additional €5 billion, or $6.7 billion, in revenue to meet the 2013 budget target, and could risk another downgrade of the country’s credit rating.

The data also indicate the challenge of keeping France’s overall level of debt from rising beyond its current level, which is already above 90 percent of G.D.P.

“Today’s figures underline how difficult the task will remain for François Hollande to keep the debt below 100 percent of G.D.P. during his mandate, and France’s rank in the core of the euro zone,” Julien Manceaux, an economist at ING, wrote in a note.

German public finances contrast with those of France. Together, German federal, state and local governments recorded a budget surplus for the year equal to 0.1 percent of G.D.P, the statistical agency in Wiesbaden said. That is the first government surplus since 2007, and it creates leeway for Ms. Merkel to stimulate the economy with public spending if the downturn is worse than expected.

The fiscal strength in Germany underscores the inequities within the euro currency union. Already, the government has been expanding a program that encourages companies to cut worker hours rather than eliminate jobs. The so-called short work program uses government money to compensate employees for some of the wages they lose by putting in fewer hours.

Within the region, Germany has served as a crucial counterweight to the struggling economies of Southern Europe, and helped to stabilize the euro zone as a whole.

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Vital Signs: Nutrition: Vitamin D Doesn’t Reduce Knee Pain

About 27 million people in the United States have osteoarthritis, an incurable condition with few effective treatments beyond pain control. Some observational evidence suggests that vitamin D supplements might slow progression of the disease.

But a two-year randomized placebo-controlled study found that vitamin D did not reduce knee pain or restore cartilage.

In an article published in The Journal of the American Medical Association last week, researchers described a study of 146 men and women with painful knee arthritis who were randomly assigned to take vitamin D supplements or placebos. Vitamin D was given in quantities sufficient to raise blood levels to 36 nanograms per milliliter, a level considered sufficient for good health.

Knee pain decreased slightly in both groups, but there were no differences in the amount of cartilage lost, bone mineral density or joint deterioration as measured by X-rays and M.R.I. scans.

The lead author, Dr. Timothy McAlindon, chief of the division of rheumatology at Tufts Medical Center, said taking vitamin D in higher doses or for longer periods might make a difference, but he’s not hopeful.

“Although there were lots of promising observational data, we find no efficacy of vitamin D for knee osteoarthritis,” he said. “There may be reasons to take vitamin D supplements, but knee osteoarthritis is not one of them.”

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Vital Signs: Nutrition: Vitamin D Doesn’t Reduce Knee Pain

About 27 million people in the United States have osteoarthritis, an incurable condition with few effective treatments beyond pain control. Some observational evidence suggests that vitamin D supplements might slow progression of the disease.

But a two-year randomized placebo-controlled study found that vitamin D did not reduce knee pain or restore cartilage.

In an article published in The Journal of the American Medical Association last week, researchers described a study of 146 men and women with painful knee arthritis who were randomly assigned to take vitamin D supplements or placebos. Vitamin D was given in quantities sufficient to raise blood levels to 36 nanograms per milliliter, a level considered sufficient for good health.

Knee pain decreased slightly in both groups, but there were no differences in the amount of cartilage lost, bone mineral density or joint deterioration as measured by X-rays and M.R.I. scans.

The lead author, Dr. Timothy McAlindon, chief of the division of rheumatology at Tufts Medical Center, said taking vitamin D in higher doses or for longer periods might make a difference, but he’s not hopeful.

“Although there were lots of promising observational data, we find no efficacy of vitamin D for knee osteoarthritis,” he said. “There may be reasons to take vitamin D supplements, but knee osteoarthritis is not one of them.”

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Bits Blog: Facebook Unveils a New Search Tool

In a move designed to challenge its biggest rival, Google, and draw new sources of profit, Facebook on Tuesday announced a tool for users to search through the piles of pictures, posts and “likes” on the social network.

The company’s co-founder and chief executive, Mark Zuckerberg, made the announcement about the search tool at its headquarters in Menlo Park, Calif., in a cavernous room packed with reporters. He called it “graph search,” and said it would be a way to find content posted by friends on Facebook — including information about people, places, photos and interests.

“Graph search is a completely new way to get information on Facebook,” he said.

Mr. Zuckerberg offered an example. As he searched for Mexican restaurants in Palo Alto, Calif., up popped a list of restaurants that his Facebook friends had reported visiting and clicked the “like” button for on Facebook.

The tool could offer the company a way to crack the online dating market and compete with Web sites like LinkedIn that specialize in job searches.

Mr. Zuckerberg took pains to say that the tool was designed with users’ privacy in mind. “On Facebook, most of things people share with you aren’t public,” Mr. Zuckerberg said. “You want access to things that people have just shared with you.”

Graph search is rolling out modestly; it’s available on Tuesday to just “hundreds or thousands” of users, Mr. Zuckerberg said, in English only. There is no precise schedule of when it will be available on mobile.

Search is the next frontier for Facebook, analysts say, as the company looks for more ways to expand revenue from its gold mine of information. After the company’s coy announcement last week about Tuesday’s event, the stock rose upon speculation that the new product would somehow involve search.

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The Lede Blog: Video of Aleppo University Bombing

Video posted online by Syrian opposition activists appeared to show the moment one in a series of deadly explosions struck the campus of Aleppo University on Tuesday.

Video said to capture an explosion on the campus of Aleppo University in Syria on Tuesday, uploaded to the Web by opposition activists.

The brief clip, uploaded to the YouTube channel of the ANA New Media Association (formerly the Syrian Activists News Association), begins with a view of smoke rising from a university building as students mill about. Moments later, following a very loud explosion close to the camera, students run for cover and a much larger plume can be seen above the building.

A description of the video posted on YouTube by ANA, which is run from Cairo by the British-Syrian activist Rami Jarrah, said that the video was filmed by an activist just after the university was hit by a missile fired from a Syrian Air Force MIG fighter jet, and captured the impact of a second airstrike.

Another video clip, uploaded to the Web earlier in the day, appeared to offer a more distant view of the plumes of smoke above the campus. Mr. Jarrah, who blogs as Alexander Page, suggested that one part of the video showed the fighter jet’s contrail in the sky over the damaged buildings.

NEW FOOTAGE: Shows trail of Jet Fighter seconds after Airstrike on University of #Aleppo http://t.co/CRk3C8wb Syrian state TV Lie

— Alexander Page (@AlexanderPageSY) 15 Jan 13

While opposition activists insisted that the blasts, which killed at least 50 people, were the result of airstrikes by the government of President Bashar al-Assad, state-controlled television channels claimed that “terrorists” had fired rockets at the campus.

The pro-Assad satellite channel al-Ikhbaria broadcast video of the aftermath, showing extensive damage to the campus and victims being rushed from the scene as on-screen text blamed the attack on rebel forces.

Video from the pro-government Syrian satellite channel al-Ikhbaria showed the aftermath of bombings at Aleppo University on Tuesday

A blogger in Aleppo who supported peaceful protests against the Assad government but has been fiercely critical of the armed rebellion, Edward Dark, described the carnage as a result of an air attack that was “probably a mistake, not an intentional bombing.”

just now: regime jet bombs Aleppo Uni faculty of architecture as students are taking tests. this is in a peaceful regime held area #Syria

— edward dark (@edwardedark) 15 Jan 13

@APHClarkson no, I think it was probably a mistake, not an intentional bombing

— edward dark (@edwardedark) 15 Jan 13

Restrictions on independent reporting in Syria make it hard to confirm who was responsible for the explosions, but the university is in a government-controlled area of the city and large anti-Assad demonstrations there last May were harshly dealt with by the security forces, despite the presence of United Nations observers.

Another series of video clips, posted on YouTube shortly after the bombings, showed extensive damage to what was described as the university’s architecture, and dazed students making their way through shattered glass, carrying a wounded man on a table.

Video said to show the badly damaged Aleppo University on Tuesday.

Video of a wounded man being evacuated from a damaged building at Aleppo University on Tuesday.

Another pro-Assad satellite channel, Addounia, broadcast a report blaming “a terrorist group” for the bombings — which was uploaded, with English subtitles, to YouTube.

A video report on bombings at Aleppo University from Addounia, a pro-Assad satellite channel.

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Chrysler Pauses to Mark an Unlikely Comeback

Fabrizio Costantini for The New York Times

Chrysler introduced a new Grand Cherokee in Detroit on Monday.

DETROIT — While its hometown rivals struggle to regain momentum, Chrysler is accelerating its unlikely product revival.

The smallest of the American automakers kicked off the annual Detroit auto show on Monday with new versions of two Jeep models, the Grand Cherokee and Compass, that have helped turn the company around since its government bailout and bankruptcy in 2009.

Chrysler outperformed the industry last year with a 20.6 percent increase in domestic sales in a market that grew by 13.4 percent. By comparison, sales increased just 3.7 percent at General Motors and 4.7 percent at Ford.

Sergio Marchionne, the chief executive of both Chrysler and its Italian parent Fiat, said Monday he expected Chrysler’s upward sales trend to continue this year, particularly in pickup trucks and SUVs.

“I think there’s a general feeling that the U.S. market is in healthy shape,” Mr. Marchionne said in a meeting with reporters. “And we’re certainly going to improve in the market.”

Last year was a stellar one for Chrysler. Its bread-and-butter products like the Grand Cherokee and the Ram pickup had big gains, and new cars like the Dodge Dart began to mitigate the company’s traditional reliance on larger vehicles.

Now Mr. Marchionne is laying plans to build a new, entry-level Jeep at an underutilized Fiat plant in Italy – evidence of how the American company is shepherding its European parent company through difficult times.

Sales of Chrysler products now account for more than 60 percent of the total vehicles sold under the Fiat corporate umbrella, which also includes brands like Alfa Romeo and Maserati.

When Mr. Marchionne negotiated Fiat’s acquisition of Chrysler during its federal bailout, industry executives were skeptical that the American company could thrive after the failures of its previous owners, the German carmaker Daimler and the private-equity firm Cerberus.

Now, however, “it’s not Fiat saving Chrysler, it’s Chrysler saving Fiat,” said David Cole, a founder of the Center for Automotive Research in Ann Arbor, Mich.

Mr. Marchionne said a key part of Chrysler’s growth will come from its iconic Jeep brand, which has updated its rugged image with better fuel efficiency and improved quality.

The company showed off the first diesel-engine version of the Grand Cherokee on Monday, which officials said could get 30 miles per gallon in highway driving.

A new version of the Jeep Liberty is scheduled to be introduced later this year. Mr. Marchionne said. The compact Jeep will be built alongside a Fiat model in the Italian plant.

The plan helps solve Fiat’s glaring overcapacity issues in Europe, where vehicle sales have dropped to their lowest level in years. It also represents an aggressive step to grow the Jeep brand outside the United States.

“The brand needs an entry-level Jeep” that people can get at a lower price point, Mr. Marchionne said.

Chrysler was also close to finalizing plans to build Jeeps in China, he said.

Mr. Marchionne said it was important for Chrysler to expand its product lineup to help Fiat weather the European sales crisis, which is affecting most auto companies there.

He estimated that mass-market carmakers in Europe lost a combined 5 billion euros last year, mostly because demand fell well short of supply.

Automakers have so far announced a handful of plant closings to address the overcapacity issue. But Mr. Marchionne has consistently argued for a broader reduction in the number of factories throughout Europe.

“The gap is too large,” he said. “You can’t close a 5 billion euro gap in operating profit by tweaking the machine.”

Mr. Marchionne said that he was driving Chrysler to make up the difference in profits as Fiat falters and as comeback plans for Alfa Romeo take shape.

“We are living with the consequences of a collective inability to resolve the issue,” he said. “But this is not for the fainthearted.”

He said that overcoming the “threat of complacency” is Chrysler’s biggest issue. After the Ram pickup won the truck of the year award at the Detroit show, Mr. Marchionne cut short the celebratory mood at the company’s exhibit.

“Celebration is fine, I’m delighted,” he said. “But it’s over.”

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Well: That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work

When people fall in love and decide to marry, the expectation is nearly always that love and marriage and the happiness they bring will last; as the vows say, till death do us part. Only the most cynical among us would think, walking down the aisle, that if things don’t work out, “We can always split.”

But the divorce rate in the United States is exactly half the marriage rate, and that does not bode well for this cherished institution.

While some divorces are clearly justified by physical or emotional abuse, intolerable infidelity, addictive behavior or irreconcilable incompatibility, experts say many severed marriages seem to have just withered and died from a lack of effort to keep the embers of love alive.

I say “embers” because the flame of love — the feelings that prompt people to forget all their troubles and fly down the street with wings on their feet — does not last very long, and cannot if lovers are ever to get anything done. The passion ignited by a new love inevitably cools and must mature into the caring, compassion and companionship that can sustain a long-lasting relationship.

Studies by Richard E. Lucas and colleagues at Michigan State University have shown that the happiness boost that occurs with marriage lasts only about two years, after which people revert to their former levels of happiness — or unhappiness.

Infatuation and passion have even shorter life spans, and must evolve into “companionate love, composed more of deep affection, connection and liking,” according to Sonya Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.

In her new book, “The Myths of Happiness,” Dr. Lyubomirsky describes a slew of research-tested actions and words that can do wonders to keep love alive.

She points out that the natural human tendency to become “habituated” to positive circumstances — to get so used to things that make us feel good that they no longer do — can be the death knell of marital happiness. Psychologists call it “hedonic adaptation”: things that thrill us tend to be short-lived.

So Dr. Lyubomirsky’s first suggestion is to adopt measures to avert, or at least slow down, the habituation that can lead to boredom and marital dissatisfaction. While her methods may seem obvious, many married couples forget to put them into practice.

Building Companionship

Steps to slow, prevent or counteract hedonic adaptation and rescue a so-so marriage should be taken long before the union is in trouble, Dr. Lyubomirsky urges. Her recommended strategies include making time to be together and talk, truly listening to each other, and expressing admiration and affection.

Dr. Lyubomirsky emphasizes “the importance of appreciation”: count your blessings and resist taking a spouse for granted. Routinely remind yourself and your partner of what you appreciate about the person and the marriage.

Also important is variety, which is innately stimulating and rewarding and “critical if we want to stave off adaptation,” the psychologist writes. Mix things up, be spontaneous, change how you do things with your partner to keep your relationship “fresh, meaningful and positive.”

Novelty is a powerful aphrodisiac that can also enhance the pleasures of marital sex. But Dr. Lyubomirsky admits that “science has uncovered precious little about how to sustain passionate love.” She likens its decline to growing up or growing old, “simply part of being human.”

Variety goes hand in hand with another tip: surprise. With time, partners tend to get to know each other all too well, and they can fall into routines that become stultifying. Shake it up. Try new activities, new places, new friends. Learn new skills together.

Although I’ve been a “water bug” my whole life, my husband could swim only as far as he could hold his breath. We were able to enjoy the water together when we both learned to kayak.

“A pat on the back, a squeeze of the hand, a hug, an arm around the shoulder — the science of touch suggests that it can save a so-so marriage,” Dr. Lyubomirsky writes. “Introducing more (nonsexual) touching and affection on a daily basis will go a long way in rekindling the warmth and tenderness.”

She suggests “increasing the amount of physical contact in your relationship by a set amount each week” within the comfort level of the spouses’ personalities, backgrounds and openness to nonsexual touch.

Positive Energy

A long-married friend recently told me that her husband said he missed being touched and hugged. And she wondered what the two of them would talk about when they became empty-nesters. Now is the time, dear friend, to work on a more mutually rewarding relationship if you want your marriage to last.

Support your partner’s values, goals and dreams, and greet his or her good news with interest and delight. My husband’s passion lay in writing for the musical theater. When his day job moved to a different city, I suggested that rather than looking for a new one, he pursue his dream. It never became monetarily rewarding, but his vocation fulfilled him and thrilled me. He left a legacy of marvelous lyrics for more than a dozen shows.

Even a marriage that has been marred by negative, angry or hurtful remarks can often be rescued by filling the home with words and actions that elicit positive emotions, psychology research has shown.

According to studies by Barbara L. Fredrickson, a social psychologist and professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, a flourishing relationship needs three times as many positive emotions as negative ones. In her forthcoming book, “Love 2.0,” Dr. Fredrickson says that cultivating positive energy everyday “motivates us to reach out for a hug more often or share and inspiring or silly idea or image.”

Dr. Lyubomirsky reports that happily married couples average five positive verbal and emotional expressions toward one another for every negative expression, but “very unhappy couples display ratios of less than one to one.”

To help get your relationship on a happier track, the psychologist suggests keeping a diary of positive and negative events that occur between you and your partner, and striving to increase the ratio of positive to negative.

She suggests asking yourself each morning, “What can I do for five minutes today to make my partner’s life better?” The simplest acts, like sharing an amusing event, smiling, or being playful, can enhance marital happiness.

Read More..

Well: That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work

When people fall in love and decide to marry, the expectation is nearly always that love and marriage and the happiness they bring will last; as the vows say, till death do us part. Only the most cynical among us would think, walking down the aisle, that if things don’t work out, “We can always split.”

But the divorce rate in the United States is exactly half the marriage rate, and that does not bode well for this cherished institution.

While some divorces are clearly justified by physical or emotional abuse, intolerable infidelity, addictive behavior or irreconcilable incompatibility, experts say many severed marriages seem to have just withered and died from a lack of effort to keep the embers of love alive.

I say “embers” because the flame of love — the feelings that prompt people to forget all their troubles and fly down the street with wings on their feet — does not last very long, and cannot if lovers are ever to get anything done. The passion ignited by a new love inevitably cools and must mature into the caring, compassion and companionship that can sustain a long-lasting relationship.

Studies by Richard E. Lucas and colleagues at Michigan State University have shown that the happiness boost that occurs with marriage lasts only about two years, after which people revert to their former levels of happiness — or unhappiness.

Infatuation and passion have even shorter life spans, and must evolve into “companionate love, composed more of deep affection, connection and liking,” according to Sonya Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.

In her new book, “The Myths of Happiness,” Dr. Lyubomirsky describes a slew of research-tested actions and words that can do wonders to keep love alive.

She points out that the natural human tendency to become “habituated” to positive circumstances — to get so used to things that make us feel good that they no longer do — can be the death knell of marital happiness. Psychologists call it “hedonic adaptation”: things that thrill us tend to be short-lived.

So Dr. Lyubomirsky’s first suggestion is to adopt measures to avert, or at least slow down, the habituation that can lead to boredom and marital dissatisfaction. While her methods may seem obvious, many married couples forget to put them into practice.

Building Companionship

Steps to slow, prevent or counteract hedonic adaptation and rescue a so-so marriage should be taken long before the union is in trouble, Dr. Lyubomirsky urges. Her recommended strategies include making time to be together and talk, truly listening to each other, and expressing admiration and affection.

Dr. Lyubomirsky emphasizes “the importance of appreciation”: count your blessings and resist taking a spouse for granted. Routinely remind yourself and your partner of what you appreciate about the person and the marriage.

Also important is variety, which is innately stimulating and rewarding and “critical if we want to stave off adaptation,” the psychologist writes. Mix things up, be spontaneous, change how you do things with your partner to keep your relationship “fresh, meaningful and positive.”

Novelty is a powerful aphrodisiac that can also enhance the pleasures of marital sex. But Dr. Lyubomirsky admits that “science has uncovered precious little about how to sustain passionate love.” She likens its decline to growing up or growing old, “simply part of being human.”

Variety goes hand in hand with another tip: surprise. With time, partners tend to get to know each other all too well, and they can fall into routines that become stultifying. Shake it up. Try new activities, new places, new friends. Learn new skills together.

Although I’ve been a “water bug” my whole life, my husband could swim only as far as he could hold his breath. We were able to enjoy the water together when we both learned to kayak.

“A pat on the back, a squeeze of the hand, a hug, an arm around the shoulder — the science of touch suggests that it can save a so-so marriage,” Dr. Lyubomirsky writes. “Introducing more (nonsexual) touching and affection on a daily basis will go a long way in rekindling the warmth and tenderness.”

She suggests “increasing the amount of physical contact in your relationship by a set amount each week” within the comfort level of the spouses’ personalities, backgrounds and openness to nonsexual touch.

Positive Energy

A long-married friend recently told me that her husband said he missed being touched and hugged. And she wondered what the two of them would talk about when they became empty-nesters. Now is the time, dear friend, to work on a more mutually rewarding relationship if you want your marriage to last.

Support your partner’s values, goals and dreams, and greet his or her good news with interest and delight. My husband’s passion lay in writing for the musical theater. When his day job moved to a different city, I suggested that rather than looking for a new one, he pursue his dream. It never became monetarily rewarding, but his vocation fulfilled him and thrilled me. He left a legacy of marvelous lyrics for more than a dozen shows.

Even a marriage that has been marred by negative, angry or hurtful remarks can often be rescued by filling the home with words and actions that elicit positive emotions, psychology research has shown.

According to studies by Barbara L. Fredrickson, a social psychologist and professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, a flourishing relationship needs three times as many positive emotions as negative ones. In her forthcoming book, “Love 2.0,” Dr. Fredrickson says that cultivating positive energy everyday “motivates us to reach out for a hug more often or share and inspiring or silly idea or image.”

Dr. Lyubomirsky reports that happily married couples average five positive verbal and emotional expressions toward one another for every negative expression, but “very unhappy couples display ratios of less than one to one.”

To help get your relationship on a happier track, the psychologist suggests keeping a diary of positive and negative events that occur between you and your partner, and striving to increase the ratio of positive to negative.

She suggests asking yourself each morning, “What can I do for five minutes today to make my partner’s life better?” The simplest acts, like sharing an amusing event, smiling, or being playful, can enhance marital happiness.

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